


Pancakes

by saavik13



Category: Leverage
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Mentions of Rape, Multi, mentions of childabuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-13
Updated: 2015-10-13
Packaged: 2018-03-30 07:53:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3928888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saavik13/pseuds/saavik13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Parker can't ever ask a simple question.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. It starts with a question

**Author's Note:**

> This story is attempt at reconciling the often childlike way Parker behaves with the intense character we know is in there. I'm just playing with the layers.

“Does sex always hurt?”

 

The question comes out of nowhere and Eliot has to struggle not to spit out his coffee. Parker is perched on the windowsill of his fifth story apartment like a damn pigeon and he has no idea how she got there. There’s no climbing rope on her and he picked this building because there was a total lack of handholds. She gracefully steps into the room and then hops up to sit on the counter. “Well?”

She asks, somewhat impatiently.

 

“Parker,” Eliot starts to grumble, intending on yelling at her for just breaking into his place when the question actually registers. His heart stops beating for a moment and several things start to click into place. He shakily pulls a stool over and sits down across from her. “What makes you ask?”

 

She frowns, that confused and struggling frown she gets when she’s trying to figure out normal people and normal things. “Well, people seem to like it, and want to do it, girls too, so it can’t always hurt can it? I mean, people wouldn’t do it that much if it always hurt – right?”

 

“Right.” Eliot agrees softly. “It shouldn’t hurt, it shouldn’t ever hurt.” His voice is gruff, not in the usual way, and for the first time he has to fight the urge to just hug the crazy thief.

 

“Oh.” Parker now looks a little scared. “So, if it’s not supposed to hurt why….” She trails off, looking even smaller than normal.

 

“How old were you, when it happened?” he asks softly and he watches her fold into herself a little more. She can be impossibly small if she wants to be, something he knows you don’t learn as an adult.

 

“I don’t know. It was before the nice lady came and took me away.” Parker’s nose scrunches as she thinks back. “I didn’t have bunny yet but I had the princess stool in the bathroom so I could get to the sink.”

 

Eliot sucks in a sharp breath and has to close his eyes. “Oh honey…” he murmurs, his accent thick.

 

“That’s what the nice lady said!” Parker is smiling when he opens his eyes. “She said that when they kicked down the door and took me away. She said my mother was going to jail and that I wasn’t going to have to stay there anymore.” Parker shrugs. “I guess the woman I lived with was my mother. I never really knew.   I just called her Crystal like all the men did.”

 

Eliot had known Parker had a horrible childhood. It was pretty clear seconds after meeting her, but the picture was starting to look a hell of a lot worse than he’d thought. “What happened then?”

 

“I don’t like to talk about it.” Parker hops off the counter and starts going through his cabinets. “You got any cereal?”  


“No.” Eliot stands up. “But I can make you pancakes.”

 

Parker’s eyes light up. “Do you make them in shapes?”

 

“Whatever you want.” He replies, still fighting the urge to hold her and hurt someone else simultaneously “Whatever you want.”

 

“Bunnies. I want bunnies.”


	2. Baby steps

 

The next day they had a job and while Parker was crawling though about a mile of duct work all he could do was think about what she’d said. After meeting Archie and the thing at the orphanage he’d had a good idea some of what she was hiding but her point blank question and what followed haunted him. The sun was just rising when the job was over, the bad guys all broke and discredited, the family of six back in their apartment with a new nest egg for their trouble. The team all went off to do their thing. He caught Parker’s eye as they walked out. “Pancakes?” He offered softly.

 

She bounced in place. “Bunnies?”

 

“Always, hun.” He replied gently. “All the bunnies.”

 

They were finishing up two heaping platefuls of bunny shaped pancakes when Parker let out her next bombshell.

 

“Nice lady took me to live with papaw. I liked papaw. He smelled funny like cough drops and he had white hair and he never ever touched me unless I hugged him first.” Parker paused, staring down at the last bunny on her plate. “He gave me bunny. He said he loved me.”

 

Eliot’s throat was thick. “What happened?”

 

“He died.” Parker sounded small. “I woke up and he wasn’t in his chair. He was always in his chair and no one else could ever sit it in. So I went to find him. He went to sleep and never woke up.” Parker’s chin trembled ever so slightly. “So another lady came, not the nice one. She said I had to go away again, and I tried to fight her, to stay, but there were two cops there and I was too small. At least she let me keep bunny.”

 

Eliot vaguely remembers the tattered stuffed bunny that had sat on Parkers strange bed in the warehouse. “I’m sorry, Parker. I’m so sorry.”

 

“Why?” She shrugged. “Papaw was nice and he didn’t mean to die. And you didn’t kill him.”

 

Her logic was fairly simple but Eliot shook his head. “Parker, it’s what you say when you feel bad that someone had to go through something. It… hurts me to think about you going through that.”

 

“Oh.” Parker looked confused. “Why?”

 

“Because you’re my friend, and we’re on the same team, and I care about your crazy ass.” Eliot growled out.

 

Parker smiled at that. “We are a team.”

 

“We are.” He agreed, taking their plates to the sink. “Parker, you don’t have to answer but…” He ran water over the plates before sticking them into the dishwasher. “Your question the other day, why you ask it?”

 

“Hardison wants to have sex with me.” She said it so matter of factly that he chuckled. Parker kept going. “I can tell, he looks at me sometimes like the men did. But he doesn’t do anything or I’d stab him.” That was also said matter of factly.

 

“Has he said anything?”

 

“No. But we kissed on the con a while back and he’s been looking at me more.” Parker frowned. “I don’t know what to do.”

 

Eliot moved back to his seat across the table from her. “What do you want to do?”

 

“Sophie says that the funny feeling I get sometimes when he and I are alone is attraction.” Parker bit her lip. “But attraction means sex and I don’t like sex. I like kissing and being around him, but I don’t like sex.”

 

“You do not have to have sex with him if you don’t want to.” Eliot reached out and took her hand, slowly, and held it. “You understand me? If he tries to pressure you in any way I will kick his scrawny ass.”

 

Parker seemed to vibrate and he could feel her tension. “But… why am I feeling this way?” She whispered. “I don’t… I like him but I don’t….”

 

“Tell me what happened honey.” Eliot requested softly. “What happened that made you think sex had to hurt?”

 

“Before Papaw,” Parker shivered violently and clutched his hand tighter. “Men would come to the apartment and Crystal would leave them with me and … it _hurt._ And then, later, one of the families I lived with, and… and it hurt too, although not the same way. And, and, there were guys, when I was on my own before Archie, and I needed places to stay… I didn’t like how it made me feel. I told Archie I never wanted to have to do that again and he said that was okay. That I didn’t have to if I didn’t want to. And he taught me how to be a thief, a real one, and told me if I had enough money I’d never have to do that again.” There were tears in her eyes. “But I don’t want to lose my friend, and Hardison wants me to… and I’m …. And no one stays if you don’t have sex with them. Except Archie. And Hardison isn’t like Archie.”

 

“It’s okay, Parker. It’s okay.” Eliot stood up and moved around the table to pull her into a hug. “It’s okay honey. You ain’t gotta do anything and Hardison won’t try and make ya. He ain’t that kind of man. I don’t think he’ll leave either. He likes you as a friend, as a team member too. He doesn’t stick around just hoping for that.”

 

“But you have sex all the time. And the women, they look happy when they leave here.” Parker whispered against his chest. “Why can’t I do that too? Why does it have to hurt?”

 

He held her until she was half asleep and he made a bed for her on the couch. She looked so fragile, so young and tiny, and Eliot didn’t know how but he was going to find every last man that hurt her and _hurt_ them.

 

The next day while Parker was out memorizing bank security plans for fun, he sat Hardison down for a talk. It didn’t take much, he didn’t have to tell any of her secrets, Hardison wasn’t an idiot. He’d known, before Eliot, that Parker had been the victim of sexual abuse – something he’d seen enough of in his own time in foster care with the other kids that came through his nana’s house, he could recognize it. He assured Eliot that he wasn’t about to ask Parker for something she wasn’t ready to give. And… he thanked Eliot for being there for her – for being the person she felt safe enough with to talk about it.

 

The next few weeks Parker was at his place more often than she was absent and it was kinda nice, waking up and finding her curled up on the sofa. He even bought her cereal and made sure there was hot chocolate in the cupboard. When bunny showed up, he gave her a key and the spare bedroom. He wasn’t sure if this is what having a little sister, a damaged little sister, was like but he rather enjoyed it if he was totally honest with himself. He liked to take care of people, and as crazy as Parker was she hadn’t had enough of that in her life. He told Hardison, he didn’t want the geek thinking anything was going on that wasn’t, and Hardison surprised him.

 

“Look man, if she feels safe with you, I’m all kinds of happy. I love her just as she is, but there’s lots of broken pieces rattling around in her that she doesn’t like. Parker might embrace her weird most of the time, but I know she’d like to fit in more, be more useful to the team. Plus, she feels left out of things, like she can’t understand how the rest of the world works. If you can help her mend a few of those broken bits, then I want you to do it. Do whatever you need to. I won’t hold it against either of you.” Hardison had given him a significant look there, the kind of look two men _understood_ and Eliot thought he actually meant it.

 

So when he felt a warm body worm its way into his bed three days later, he didn’t say anything, just let Parker lay there for the few hours left till morning. And that night, when he went off to bed, he held his hand out for her and led her with him when she grasped it. After a week, she started to move closer, and he introduced her to cuddling. She seemed touched starved, once she’d experienced it, and every night after she curled around him like a vine. It was hard to sleep, but he didn’t need that much sleep and she _needed_ him.


	3. Lesson One

 

It was pitch dark, middle of the night, almost a month later when she asked softly. “Eliot, are you awake?”

 

“Yeah, honey,” He only called her that when they were alone, “what ‘cha need?”

 

“I know it’s probably not normal, this.” She sounded so small and he hugged her closer. “But… you don’t want me like that right? So it’s okay?”

 

“I’m a man, Parker, and I’d have to be more gay than Liberace not to find you attractive. But I would never try anything with you – not unless you wanted me to. You’re safe, right here. I’ll keep you safe.”

  
“What…” she whispered, “what if I asked you to show me…what it could… what it could…”

 

He kissed the top of her head where it tucked against his chest and tried to keep his lesser brain from rising to the occasion ahead of his sense. “If you want me to I would, but I’d never ask you to. Never expect it or need it.”

 

Parker was silent for a long time. “But you shifted your hips away, which you’d only do if you wanted to keep me from noticing an erection.” Her clinical analysis was a little disconcerting but he nodded anyway, still holding her but when she didn’t pull away he relaxed slightly. She sighed. “Is it too weird that I think… that I think I like you too, and I still like Hardison?”

 

Eliot chuckled softly. “Normal is over rated, Parker. I’ve never been a one horse kinda guy. I think monogamy is pretty unnatural. I don’t see anything wrong with a couple friends finding a good time with each other, when they want to. I don’t put any baggage on it and don’t really see a difference between that and going to a movie frankly. But I’m not exactly the best role model.”

 

“Hardison…” Parker frowned, he could feel it even if it was too dark to see her, “he told me yesterday that… that it was okay, if I… felt something – for you. That it was okay, and that he didn’t mind sharing pretzels with friends.”

 

“Pretzels?”

 

She didn’t explain, just gripped him tighter. “The weird thing is, I like you both in different ways. You are like… like when I’m just hanging somewhere waiting, calm in the dark, weightless, feeling just me and the air. And Hardison, he’s like when I jump off the building, the rush and the speed. And I like both – I need both.”

 

“I get it.” His voice was gruffer than usual. “You ain’t got to chose, hun. We’re both there for ya.”

 

“You don’t bring girls back anymore.” Parker stated, her voice oddly high. “I know you go home with them but you don’t bring them back here.”

 

Eliot stilled. “I guess, I guess this has kind of become our place, Parker. And it just didn’t feel right.”

 

“I don’t want you to stop being you.” Parker squirmed slightly. “But I’m glad that this is <i>ours</i>. and…and that you don’t stay the night with them. I like having you back here, even if you smell like red head.”

 

That made him laugh. “Red heads don’t smell different than blonds.”

 

“It’s a very distinctive smell.” Parker was grinning, he could feel that too. “So… are we okay, you and me and Hardison?”

 

“Strangely, I think we are.” Eliot admitted. “Although, maybe…”

 

“I’m not ready.” Her voice was tiny again. “I couldn’t, with both of you, it… to many hands, Eliot. Too many at once….”

 

He squeezed her tightly before letting go to flip on the bedside lamp. She looked skittish, her tank top off centered and her hair wild on the pillow. She was biting her bottom lip and there was a hint of moister in the corner of her eyes. “If you ever need to talk I’ll listen, Parker. I’ll always listen.”

 

“I know. You are better at it than Sophie.” Parker admitted, sitting up to lean against the headboard. “She gives good advice, explains things, but she doesn’t understand what it was like. I don’t… I don’t think she’s ever….”

 

“Sophie’s done a lot in her life, Parker. But I think she’s used her body to get things only when she was in control of the situation.” Eliot explained gently. “I’ve never hurt a woman like that, but I’ve seen things… I can imagine. I don’t know that Sophie lets herself think about it enough to even try. It’s how she coops. This life ain’t exactly without risks.”

 

“Archie took me to a doctor once.” Parker admitted, pulling her knees up. “Said I should talk about it. He had a hamster, the doctor. I petted the hamster every day for a week. Archie didn’t make me go back.”

 

“If I thought we’d be here much longer I’d say we should get you a pet. But we’ve been in one place too long and I expect we need to move on soon.” Eliot sighed. “I kinda miss having a dog. Or something. But it would be too vulnerable with us out on a job.”

 

“Yeah.” Parker agreed, smiling sadly. “But it’s nice to break into the shelter and play with them at night.”

 

Eliot laughed. “You do that?”

 

“The cat room, sometimes. I like playing with the kittens.” Parker’s eyes softened. “I make sure the local shelter has enough money they keep them all till they get homes. Every one of them. They don’t know who the donor is, but they listen. It’s a lot of money.”

 

“I bet it is.” Eliot tipped his head towards where he knew she’d stashed a few bags of her favorite items. “But you got enough squirmed away to fund a small country if I know my girl.”

 

She smiled, a little viciously. “Maybe three.” There was a long pause after that that seemed especially heavy. Parker didn’t look at him when she spoke again. “So, could you… you show me? I mean, I know, because you told me it didn’t have to but…”

 

“Now? Like right now?” Eliot asked, a little nervous and more than a little concerned.

 

“Yeah. Right now.” Parker turned to look at him, her chin resting on her bent knees. “I don’t want to keep being afraid, Eliot. I don’t like being scared of things. Only this time I can’t just throw myself off the building.”

 

“Buildings you aren’t scared of, woman.” He muttered, but reached out to take her hand anyway. “Look, I’m happy to help you with anything Parker, anything. But are you sure you want to do this? Hardison won’t hurt you any more than I would.”

 

“I know.” Parker frowned. “I mean I know,” she tapped her head, “ but I don’t KNOW.” Then her chest. “And, you aren’t second to him, Eliot. You are both – equal I guess. Different cuts but the same weight of diamond. And you, you are always in control of your body, you know where your hands are.” She looked down. “Hardison he doesn’t always know where’s he’s at. ”

 

“Thanks, I think.” Eliot rubbed the back of her hand. “So… what is it you want to try?”

 

Parker bit her lip. “I don’t know, I guess. I mean, I know how it works obviously, but I never exactly had to do much other than hold still.”

 

His heart broke all over again.

 

“We don’t have to everything tonight, okay? Why don’t we take penetration off the table, that alright? I’d have to go hunting for a condom anyway.”

 

“I have an IUD.” Parker admitted softly, looking away. “I never wanted to risk getting caught and…and… and then… It seemed like a good idea.”

 

That right there was why Eliot hated the thought of women in crime, or war, or anything that put them at risk for that kind of thing. He swallowed thickly. “Yeah, it was. And I’m clean, I get tested with my physical every year just in case and I don’t – I don’t go bare with people. Normal people. I mean…”

 

Parker smiled at him, his nervousness clearly putting her a little at ease. “Yeah, I know what you mean. But we don’t have to. I just wanted you to know – in case.   And Archie made me go to all kinds of doctors and I was okay. For the most part.” She pulled her hand away and wrapped back around her knees. “Eliot, I…”

 

He moved to hold her and she stiffened for a second before relaxing against him. “Whatever it is, sweetheart you can tell me.”

 

“I have scars.” She whispered. “Places you shouldn’t have them. From…things not fitting right. I don’t know if you can see them but I can… feel them. With my fingers.” She shuddered slightly in his arms. “The doctor Archie found, he said, he said it would get better when I was older. That I wouldn’t notice it unless I had a baby and things might not stretch like they should. But I bet you can tell. The last guy that I… he said I was knobby. But that was when I was 14 and it’s had more time… I’m sorry.”

 

“Parker,” He held her even tighter, trying not to think of a vulnerable 14 year old Parker and the kind of scum that would have taken advantage of her in exchange for shelter, or pickpocketing tips. “You do not have to apologize. None, and I mean NONE of this is your fault okay? You did nothing wrong. And I don’t care if you have scars. We all have scars.” Eliot held his arm up. “See, I’m covered in them.”

 

“It’s different.” She turned to face him, and put her arms around him. “I’m different.”

 

“You are a crazy ball of thief insanity.” Eliot barked into her hair. “But you ain’t different because of this, hun. You’ll just have to let me know if I hurt ya.”

 

“Ok.” She said weakly. “Should I…”

 

“Just relax and lay back down with me. We don’t have to be anywhere. No reason to rush.”

 

And they didn’t. In fact, Eliot hadn’t had such a platonic makeout session since high school. But he doubted Parker ever had. So he drug it out, kept it to second base territory, and eventually they drifted off to sleep curled tightly. When she woke up several hours later from a nightmare he wasn’t surprised and just thanked his maker he didn’t mistake her movements for an attack.


	4. Practice

Parker never backed down from something that scared her, and Eliot soon learned what that meant. She threw herself into overcoming her fear of intimacy with the same dedication she put into safe cracking and Eliot spent the next three weeks carefully couching her through each and every element of making out he could think of. Parker learned quick, and like any good student devoted herself to practice with gusto. Eliot wasn’t sure, but he thought she might be getting extra practice in with Hardison here and there –for which he was grateful.

This all started because that nerd couldn’t stop ogling her. Eliot didn’t feel it was fair if he did all the work.

Not that making out with Parker was work, exactly, but it certainly wasn’t relaxing. Just when he’d be getting into it she’d break off to ask a question – ‘why did you do that thing with your tongue there?’, ‘what does that noise mean?’, ‘did you change laundry detergent?’. 

Parker was the first woman he’d ever had trouble getting to loose her head when actually engaged in foreplay and it was starting to hurt his ego. No matter what he tried she’d still be level headed when he came up for air. The good part of it all, the only good part really, was that her calmness and rationality to all of it meant that her nightmares didn’t last nearly as long as he expected. Once she got comfortable with what they were doing, the nightmares gradually stopped over the next week or so. He realized that whenever they took it to the next stage she’d likely have to go thorough it all over again, but progress was progress.

Maybe, if he wasn’t ever asked directly, he could admit in the quite of his own mind, that he liked having her in his bed. He liked her fleeting kisses and firm little hands that never drifted too far south. It was refreshing in a way, a change from the fast women that he usually found attractive – and convenient. Parker had all the charm and naivety of a high school conquest behind the bleachers but none of the guilt. They weren’t doing anything wrong, there was no one to catch them (Nate could deal) and Parker wasn’t exactly innocent. 

But she was. Oh she was. Eliot reminded himself. Sure she’d had sex – by force and by choice, but never by desire. She’d made the logical choice to use her body that way when she had nothing else to barter with and he respected that – didn’t think any less of her for doing it. She survived. Ain’t nobody got a right to judge what it takes for a kid on the street to do that. She made it through, learned to rise above it, and she made herself into the best thief in the world. That took guts and talent and drive and Eliot got hard thinking about that part of Parker more than he did her perfect gymnast body. 

In all that though, Parker had never really learned to feel. That was what he was trying to teach her, what she had so much trouble learning. She had trouble with being happy about anything but money and when she did feel – it usually meant bad things for her. Bad memories, bad experiences, bad times. 

Eliot wanted to give her good memories, and good experiences, and good times – in and out of his bedroom. He wanted her to be able to see art as art. To just enjoy a painting not because of what it was worth or how easily she could get it out of the museum but because it was beautiful, because it touched her soul. He wanted her to eat something and really taste it. He wanted to touch her and know she really felt it.

It wasn’t until Sophie had a close call on a job and landed in the hospital that Parker really allowed herself that. Not that she had a lot of choice in it. 

She was crying, scared, and trying to hide it. Eliot had a hard time getting her to leave the hospital but finally Nate had convinced her that they needed to take shifts. Sophie was going to be okay, she just needed some time in observation, and the entire team hanging out in her room all night would be very suspicious. Nate was posing as her husband, it made sense for him to sleep on the tiny pull out sofa in her private room. It did not make sense for her niece and the two workmen from their condo to be there too. 

Hardison had gone back to headquarters to monitor coms and see if he could figure out how the hell the mark got a drop on Sophie. Eliot took Parker home and tucked her into bed tight against his chest. Her eyes were red and puffy and she trembled just slightly in his arms. When she reached for him and his lips brushed hers, for the first time he felt her actually let go. He knew it wasn’t him that had allowed her that – it was the fact that she was so tired and emotionally drained from Sophie that she couldn’t block it anymore. But he’d still count it as a victory.


	5. Rasberries

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay! RL issues.

The first time they were totally naked together Parker never went to sleep. She laid in the bed, her arm touching his chest, but she didn’t get closer and she never fell asleep. Luckily they didn’t have a job so neither needed to be in top form the next day. Instead, Eliot put on a robe and made chocolate bunny shaped pancakes with a raspberry reduction sauce and fresh whip cream. He brought them to her in bed, with an extra little plate and a girl shaped pancake for bunny as a joke, and then crawled back in next to her.

Parker smiled at the childish gesture and made a great show of cutting up bunny’s pancake for her. After bunny had her fill she of course ate the left overs along with her own heaping plateful. How someone that small ate so much was a bit of a mystery to Eliot. Of course, hanging from a building by your fingertips probably took a great deal of calories so maybe it wasn’t _that_ weird.

Parker had never been bothered much by nudity. She’d strip and change in a room full of people without blinking. But being in bed with him was different, it was clear, and he could understand that. Changing in an elevator with the team wasn’t personal- and it didn’t involve touching. The bed had a lot of connotations to it. But the chocolate seemed to calm her, which he’d hoped it would, and after she’d used the restroom and come back she seemed much more herself than she had during the night. He held up his arm and she cuddled next to him like they’d been doing for weeks with their nightclothes on.

“This is weird.” She admitted, her tiny hand rubbing his chest slowly. He could feel the strength in those slender little fingers and it made him shiver.

“Why?” He asked, his voice a little more gruff than he’d intended.

She smiled against him. “It just is. I haven’t ever really laid with anybody like this, skin to skin. Not for a whole night.”

He hugged her to him. “Is it okay weird or bad weird?”

“Okay.” She admitted, her breath moist on his collarbone. “I think I like it actually. It’s very… “ she searched for the word. “free. It’s very free.”

He kissed the top of her head. “Yeah – I know what you mean.”

“Eliot?” She asked softly. “Would you mind…if I…” she trailed off.

He pulled away from her enough to look in her eyes. “What is it darnlin’?”

She bit her lip. “I’ve never really gotten to spend time with anyone, never wanted to after, you know.” She dropped her gaze. “I’d like to look at you some if you’d let me.”

He shrugged. “Nothing to hide, Parker.” He flipped the blankets off and laid back against the pillows. “I’m all yours.”

She seemed shy at first but after he didn’t do anything except put his arms behind his head and relax, she gradually started to explore his body. She looked with her fingertips as well as her eyes, tracing him, and he expected that if a vault could feel this is what it would be like for Parker to rob it. Her hands grazed over him like he’d seen her caress a secure door and his cock jumped at the gentle exploration.

When she reached that area she frowned at him, her hand hovering just over it. “Eliot, how does it work?” she asked and he snorted and had to bite his lip to not laugh. 

“Parker, I thought you at least had the mechanics down.”

She rolled her eyes. “Not that part. I mean – can you move it like… like an elephant does it’s trunk?”

“No.” He admitted. “Unfortunately, the most I can do is wiggle it.” He demonstrated it and Parker watched with rapt attention. “I suppose some guy out there might be able to do more than that, but it’s certainly not like an extra hand or anything actually useful.” He knew she’d been calculating how it might be used on a job and he did _not_ want her brain going there.

Parker nodded and reached out slowly only to poke it and then snap her hand back. He bit his lip and tried not to move as she repeated her experimental pokes several times, starting to smile as his now erect cock bounced with the force of her finger tapping at it. “Parker…” he growled out in warning when she did it a little too hard and she giggled.

In retaliation he reached out and poked her chest causing her right breast to bounce slightly. She looked down, frowned, and then poked it herself.

He’d deny the next half hour if questioned. But there was lots of giggles, rolling, poking, and things bouncing.

She was laying on top of him, her legs parted just enough for his cock to brush against her wetness, and he couldn’t rest leaning up and kissing her. She was relaxed after their silliness and she returned the gentle kiss with a little half nibble to his lower lip that made him moan and arch slightly into her. When she pulled away and their eyes met she nodded.

He let her do the work, rising up and guiding him inside. She went faster than he’d have wanted, probably trying to get that part over, but when she settled down on him it was perfect. She was hot and tight and so very wet, and the expression on her face – it was wonderful. Parker looked like she’d just discovered buried cash as she tested out the feel of him and he tried not to think about the bastards that had hurt her. This was the Parker he knew, the fearless Parker, taking what she wanted, and he was more than happy to let her.

She was so tiny, perched like that on top of him, her thighs so slender he’d have been concerned for her health if he didn’t know the hours of intense exercise and practice that led to them . He could feel her powerfully coiled muscles moving and shifting wherever his hands went and he knew that with just a little training this tiny girl could take out most of the special ops guys he knew. Parker might not be 6ft and 240 lbs but she was solid muscle – toned and honed to the very limits of her body. Parker used everything God gave her in her craft –controlled and precise.

She made love like that too.

He tried to hold out for her, he did, but no amount of mediation chants could keep his mind off her movements. He came with an exhale and a small jerk upwards. When he opened his eyes Parker was smiling at him, her little hands perched next to his head.

“That wasn’t bad at all.” She pronounced. “You didn’t hurt me once.” 

“Of course not.” He bit out, reaching up to smooth his hand along her cheek and brush her hair back behind her ear. “I’d never intentionally hurt you, Parker.”

He eased her off him and to lay next to him and she made a small grimace as he withdrew.

“What is it?” he asked gently, pressing a light kiss to the tip of her nose.

That made her smile and she shrugged, tucking her head into his neck. “I hate that feeling, you know, when it runs out.” 

“We can use a condom, if you want to do this again sometime.” He offered, reaching for the edge of the top sheet to wipe her. “Do you want to clean up, maybe take a shower?” 

She frowned. “Is it normally to take one right away? I never got to before.”

His heart broke again. “Parker, honey, you can take one anytime you want. I don’t get a vote on when you want a shower, darlin’. That’s your choice.”

“Oh.” She bit her lip and made the confused Parker face that Eliot knew meant she was cataloging new information and trying to reconcile it with previous life experience. “Do you want a shower?” She finally asked.

He shrugged. “I’m not opposed to one, although I’ll admit I’m rather comfortable right here.” He smiled at her, rubbing his hand up and down her side. “If you can hold off for a minute there’s something else you should experience since you didn’t earlier.”

Parker raised an eyebrow. “What? Did I do it wrong?”

“No.” He kissed her gently. “You did everything perfectly.” He moved down to lay a kiss on her breastbone and then her belly. “But I’m afraid I came before you were done so I owe you a proper apology.”

She looked so confused but didn’t protest when he gently nudged her legs apart. “You can tell me to stop anytime, hon. It won’t hurt my feelings.” He offered before he dipped his head.

Parker most enthusiastically did not ask him to stop.


	6. Bonus Chapter Interlude

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In apologies for the delay - a little extra tidbit.

Parker took to sex like Parker took to everything. Once she’d taken the first plunge it was like she couldn’t repeat it enough. Eliot knew the others were worried about them – except for time spent actually on the job they were pretty much AWOL for the first week after. He was tired and aching in places it was actually rather delightful to hurt and to ache in, and Parker kept looking at him like he was made of chocolate.

Of course it wasn’t all perfect.

She had several horrible nightmares that left them both shaking and jumpy. Which lead to him having a night terror of his own, that he refused to talk about, that made Parker look sad for an entire day. 

But there was naked pancakes every morning and she went with him on his run three days that week. He admitted to her, quietly, that he liked the company. She showed him a new trick with an alarm system and he taught her two new moves that could take out a guy in 30 seconds flat.

If he caught himself thinking about what it would be like if they stayed like that – if they were more than just two friends, if he spent any time at all wondering how his father would have liked her, or what it would be like to take her home if he had a home to take her too – well, it was a fantasy, a fairly normal one, and he wouldn’t let it bother him.

Only it did. When she was quiet and sleeping in his arms. When her blond hair tickled his nose and all he could smell was her. It bothered him.

She wasn’t his. She was Hardison’s girl – he was just providing the closest thing to therapy their group could afford. And he ruthlessly reminded himself of that whenever the urge to do something terribly romantic overtook him.

Or at least he tried.

There was that song he wrote for her – the one she caught him working out the cords for late Saturday night. His right foot was wrapped in ice after the last job, and he had stitches above his eye, but other than some stiff knuckles he’d come through well enough and his guitar had been calling him. Parker watched and listened and when she picked up his hand written notes and saw her name at the top he was slightly ashamed of himself. Until he woke up the next morning to find she’d snuck out in the middle of the night and stolen him a rather unique set of guitar picks he’d been secretly wanting.

And there had been the flowers. His momma had always loved to get flowers and he knew Parker hadn’t ever gotten them. So he’d arranged to have a big vase of them delivered to her at the office where she was posing as a secretary for the con. The other women in the office had gushed about them and made a big fuss and Parker, dear clueless Parker, hadn’t known quite what to do. But Sophie had talked her through it and later no body said anything when the vase turned up in headquarters after the job was over.

Any other girl and he’d buy her jewelry. But Parker had jewels. What she didn’t have was the brand new carabineer that the Seals were testing out. Or at least she didn’t until the following Tuesday afternoon, 24 hours after he learned about it. 

Sex, Eliot admitted in his own brain, was great. But the look on her face as she jumped off a building testing something he and he alone had been able to get her- that was awesome.


	7. Coming together

He was falling in love.

Elliot was nothing if not honest with himself – he couldn’t afford to be less in his line of work – and if he was honest, really honest, with himself he had to admit that twenty pounds of crazy was apparently just what he’d needed in life. And he was utterly and completely gone on her. 

To the point he was considering something that a year before would have made him laugh if not get up and walk out of the room.

Parker loved him – he was pretty sure about it. Not that she knew it, or probably had a clue about it, but he was fairly certain that in the twisted weird way her brain worked, whatever it was she felt for him, it translated into love. 

He was also pretty sure she loved Hardison. 

Oh she loved the entire team, that was true. They were her family and she’d come to latch onto them in a way only someone that had always wanted one and never had it could. But she didn’t want to sleep with Nate or Sophie.

For a while he played around with the idea of just sharing her. One night with him, another with the programmer. But the idea of not having her squirmy boney body next to his was just not tolerable.

Which left one option – get a king sized bed.

Eliot was practical. And he didn’t mind Alec most of the time. If they were careful how they worked out the living arrangements it could work okay. Eliot would rule the kitchen, Alec could have the office to himself, and Parker could have everything above the eight foot mark. 

He was pretty sure that if they moved slowly the “too many hands” concern that Parker had voiced earlier about sharing a bed with both of them could be worked out. What he wasn’t so sure about was how the other man would be with it.

Eliot preferred women, but, Eliot was practical. And sometimes there just weren’t a lot of women around. He’d learned to appreciate a hard tall body if not as much as a soft shorter one, then in a certain acquired taste type fashion. There were advantages to having a lover of his own gender – bigger advantages to have one of each. And he knew he’d enjoy watching the play of them together – the contrast between their beautiful bodies, light and dark, all thin long limbs and hard muscles. He wondered if Alec had ever been with another man, what his face would look like the first time he pushed inside. Parker would probably love watching them too.

He wanted to feel Alec behind him as he took Parker, to be sandwiched between them. He wanted Alec to feel that too. He wanted Parker someday to share that feeling, if she was ever up to it. He wanted to cook for them both, to wake them up to bunny shaped pancakes and raspberry syrup.

If he had to share her, he’d make sure it was on his terms. 

He talked to Hardison first because if he wasn’t game, then the difficult conversation with Parker need not happen.

He chose to have the conversation in the van. It was kind of their space – his and Hardison. He knew the geek felt comfortable there and with them parked for surveillance pre-con it was a good quiet time to have a serious conversation. Coms weren’t on since they weren’t yet involved with anything active and the current person they were surveying was a potential client not a bad guy. If the school teacher checked out they’d be deep in a con in a few days and Elliot didn’t really want to wait.

“So..” he started, then cleared his throat.

“If you are gonna ask me to have sex with you an Parker the answer is yes.” Hardison stated calmly while looking down into the piece of listening equipment he was setting up. “Pass me that screwdriver will you?”

Eliot handed it over wordlessly. Hardison made a few tweaks, hit a couple keys on his laptop, and then set the entire contraption down to turn and face the hitter. “Look man, I know when a guy is checking out my ass and you’ve been checking out my fine ass.” Hardison wiggled his eyebrows. “Admit it.”

“Yeah, whatever.” Eliot blushed. “You game?”

“Course.” Hardison shrugged. “I’m an evolved geek, baby. Way past the gender thing.”

The next conversation with Parker was a little longer.

“You want to have sex with both of us?” She asked, her voice a little higher than normal and her knocks white as they gripped her rabbit.

“No. I want you to have sex with both of us.” He clarified, gently. “Look Parker honey, this all started because you wanted to know how to be around him. And I respect that. But I… I’d rather not lose you. So… I think we should try this. That way you don’t ever have to pick.”

“I can have you both?” She sounded unsure of herself. “But there’d be so many…things. Happening. What if I don’t like it?”

“Then you tell us. And we stop.” Hardison says softly from the doorway. “You trust Elliot right? Would he let me do anything you didn’t want?”

“I trust you too. Mostly.” Parker admits, her fingers loosening on the rabbit. “I just…”

“Get scared sometimes?” Alec finishes for her. “I know babe. I know.” He takes her hand gently into his. “And that’s why you are so perfect. Jumping off a building you can do in your sleep but this scares you – this here.” He puts her hand over his heart and he looks at Elliot. “But the big guy he’s got you, and I’ve got you, and we ain’t ever gonna let anyone hurt you even if it’s us.”

That was a promise Elliot could get behind one hundred percent.

Parker liked to watch. Hardison liked to be fucked far more than was probably healthy, particularly if it was Parker doing it. And Elliot preferred to keep changing things up. In all it seemed to work.

Except Hardison keep going into his kitchen. And Parker kept spilling things on the keyboards. And he broke the lightsaber thingy…

But the pancakes were always good.


End file.
